Week 9: Organize Your Files

This week's goals:

If you already have a filing system in place, go through your files and toss all useless or outdated information. Keep a shredder handy.

Gather up your papers!! This can be overwhelming, so go room by room and don't avoid stashes you've tucked out of sight. Immediately sort out the junk and toss it. Place the remaining "To File" papers in one location where you will file. Keep in mind that 80 percent of what we file is never looked at again; therefore, chances are it can be tossed. If there is a copy of the document filed in another place or if the information can be easily retrieved from the Internet, throw it away!

Set up a filing system. Set up your files in a "straight tab" format, so that all the tabs are lined up one behind the other. Color code your files based on categories and do not use "miscellaneous" for a category. Here are examples of categories you may want to create:

-Bank statements

-Credit card statements

-Pay stubs/work related expenses

-School information (one for each child)

-Home and auto insurance

-Health insurance

-Tax information

Start filing! Sort through all of your "to file" papers gathered in Goal 2 and separate them by category. Use broad categories so you don't have lots of files with only one or two items each. Each pile should have it's own folder.

When your files are set up, create a master page that lists all the files under each category.

Choose one storage space for your addresses and business cards.

Tips:

Keep a small tray on your desk for the files you are currently working on or keep them in the front of your top filing drawer.

If the information can be found on the internet, toss the paper!

The key to organizing addresses is to choose a system that will allow you to keep up with the changes.

Use a three-ring binder with inserts to store your business cards.

If you create a file for a large event or activity you are planning, remember to purge the file after the event has taken place.

Stay Organized!

Once a Month

File the papers waiting in your "to file" bin

Add any new addresses and phone numbers into your system

Every 3-6 Months

Go through your files and toss anything you don't need to keep.

Once a Year

Every January, clean out your file folders

Week 8: Organize Your Receipts and Taxes

This week's goals:

Gather up all of your loose receipts. Sort them into piles:

-Check card/ATM receipts

-Credit card receipts

-Receipts already recorded

-Tax deductible receipts

-Work related reimbursement

-Gift receipts

-Receipts of major purchases

Organize your tax papers by category such as:

-Income: pay stubs, W-2 and 1099 forms, proof of rental income, interest statements, and dividend statements

-Proof of expenses: credit card statements, bank statements, receipts

-Medical: include out of pocket expenses

-Donations: receipts for cash or non-cash donations

-Child care costs

-Real estate: interest statements from mortgage, tax assessments

-Tax correspondences: important letters from the IRS or your state revenue service

-Student loans: statements of loan interest paid

-Miscellaneous receipts: anything that might be needed for a deduction

Record the check card/ATM receipts in your checkbook ledger.

Take work-related receipts to work and file an expense report.

Put rebate receipts in your daily planner and place them on your to do list.

If you are trying to create a budget or track your expenses, sort your recorded check card and cash receipts by category, then record the amounts on your computer or in a notebook. Examples could be:

Food/groceries

Gas

Entertainment

Gifts

Clothes

After you record the amounts, you can toss the receipts. If you are not tracking your expenses, go ahead and toss the receipts.

Set up a small accordion file to organize the rest.

Tips:

Start a new habit: Clean the receipts out of your wallet or purse every week. Record any check card purchases in your checkbook ledger. Then toss or file the receipts. Place receipts that require action on your to do list. This will probably take less than 15 minutes. You'll also be albe to find a receipt when you need it, and you won't miss out on a rebate or return.

Keep a zippered pouch inside your purse for receipts.

Stay Organized!

Once a Month:

Remove all receipts from your purse or wallet and sort and file.

Toss all ATM withdrawal and bank deposit slips after you have recorded and checked them against your monthly statement.

Toss all credit card receipts after you have matched them to the statement.

Toss receipts from small purchases.

Every 3-6 Months:

Toss all gift receipts from any gifts you gave more than three months ago.

Once a Year:

Purge your everyday files of receipts from the previous tax year.

Week 7: Organize Your Bill Paying System

This week's goals:

Decide on a comfortable place to pay your bills. It could be your home office, but if you don't like your office area and don't want to spend time there, find a place you do like.

Set up this area with everything you will need to pay your bills: calculator, envelopes, stamps, pens, return address labels, computer.

Gather all bills and coinciding paperwork and decide on one place to keep it (preferably where you pay your bills). Store them in a file, a basket, or a bin. Make sure you have enough room.

Shred any payment books from loans you have paid off.

Schedule time in your planner when you will pay your bills. The best way is to pay them as soon as you get paid. That may be once a month, twice a month, or weekly. Call your creditors to see if you can change the due dates of your bill to coincide with your plan. If you cannot change the due dates, note them in your calendar and place them on your To Do list so you don't forget.

Implement an organized system for paying bills that works for you, whether it is handwritten checks, software, or online bill pay.

If you are comfortable with online banking, check with your bank to see if you can pay your bills online. This is fast and easy, and you won't have to waste envelopes and stamps. When the bill comes in the mail, you can enter the amount and date you want to pay it. This will guarantee that all of your bills are paid on time and you get them out of the way ASAP. Quicken is also a great computer software tool to use for bill paying.

Schedule time in your planner each week to pay bills and check on accounts.

Try this system: After your bills are paid, write or stamp "paid" on them and place them in a basket or folder until the end of the month. At the end of the month, punch holes in them and then file them in a large three ring binder. Use dividers to mark each category (electric, phone, vehicle, mortgage, etc.) This will keep everything organized and easy to reference.

Organize your bills in a large manila envelope with a small calendar in it. Each time a bill arrives in the mail, place the bill and return envelope in the envelope and mark the due date on the calendar. When the bill has been paid, cross it off the calendar. (Schedule pay days on this calendar too.)

Fewer bills mean less time spent on bill paying, so consolidate whenever possible.

Pay your bills on time. If you can't, write your creditor or vendor a letter describing your situation. Send them something every month, even if it is five dollars.

Save money on stamps by paying your bills online.

Here's a list to help you decide what financial items to shred or keep: ATM receipts-toss; college savings statement-keep the most recent; credit card statements-make sure they are correct, record expenses, and only keep the most current; Insurance policies and bills-keep most recent; mortgage records-keep as long as you own the property; Medical bills-keep for 3 years; Student loan statements-keep the most recent; tax records-file and save for up to seven years.

Learn to save even on the most modest salary.

Stay Organized!

Once a month:

File all bills and statements that you've paid. You may need to schedule this on your calendar. The longer you let it build, the less likely you're going to do it.

Balance your checkbook.

Every3-6 months:

Replenish your office supplies that are running low.

Shred and recycle any bank statements you no longer need.

Once a Year:

Sort your bills that need to be submitted for taxes.

File away bills from the previous year that you need to save. Shred the rest.

Set goals for debts you want to pay off.

Making a House of Straw, or Stick, or Brick...

There are said to be 10 rooms in a person's "house." The house is made up of everything that your life is or will be in the future. The rooms are: the attic, the kid's room, the family room, the living room, the basement, the office, the bathroom, the bedroom, the kitchen, and the tenth room.

The Attic

The attic holds your emotional heirlooms and family expectations.

The Kid's Room

The kids' room is where you decide whether to have children. If the answer is yes, this is the place for your parenting dilemmas and decisions.

The Family Room

The family room is where you deal with your parents, siblings, and anyone else with whom you can be fully yourself and still share unconditional love.

The Living Room

The living room is for your social life with friends and neighbors, so this is also the room for envy and overcommitment.

The Basement

The basement holds all memories, scrapbooks, and any childhood events that shaped your past.

The Office

The office is for work and career. This is also where you pay the bills.

The Bathroom

The bathroom, with both scale and mirror, is where you face body image, aging, wellness, and health.

The Bedroom

The bedroom is where you handle intimacy--sex, love desire, connection with your mate or the search for your life partner.

The Kitchen

The kitchen is where everyone gathers at the table for emotional "nourishment" (catching up, connecting) and sorting out the chores.

The 10th Room

The 10th room is what Virginia Woolf called a room of one's own. It might be a sunny porch, a cozy corner, a mental space where you reflect on your life and your role in the world. You contemplate the big existential questions here.

Week 6: Organize Your Finances

This week's goals:

Gather all your bills and corresponding paperwork and decide on one place to keep all of them. Whether you are storing them in a file, a basket, or a bin, make sure you have enough room.

Make a list of all your income and expenses. You can use a software program like Quicken or Microsoft excel or pen and paper. The important thing is to get a clear picture of your financial situation. Remember to include the due dates next to each bill.

Here are examples of expenses to track:

-Fixed Expenses

--mortgage, rent

--phone

--utilities

--insurance

--taxes/loans

--savings

-Controllable Expenses (you may want to track these expenses for three months to get an average.)

--house maintenance

--transportation (gasoline, parking, etc)

--credit cards

--all food

--personal care

--entertainment

--child rearing expenses

--charitable contributions

--habits (coffee, cigarettes)

Formulate a budget based on your income and expenses.

Commit right now to your future. If you are not already contributing to a savings account or investment fund, add an amount you are comfortable with to your budget today and stick with it (this may mean a few less lattes per week).

Ask for help if you need it.

If you have not done so already, set up a college fund for your children.

Set up a plan for your retirement, investments, and supplemental income

Check your house for valuables that you don't love or use. You can sell these items to help pay down debt.

Tips:

Take advantage of automatic bill payment with your bank. The creditors you owe may even offer a discount.

Consider using a software program to computerize your checkbook.

Educating yourself about how money can work for you will make you feel powerful and therefore a magnet for more money.

Your fixed expenses should be no more than 65% of your income.

Pay your bills online and request that your bank not send you paper statements.

Consider purchasing life insurance for you and your spouse.

Consolidate your phone bills and calling plans and don't purchase ringtones.

Remove your name from catalog lists to avoid temptations.

Stay Organized!

Once a month:

Review your credit card statements to ensure that your interest rate has not changed.

Balance your check book.

Organize one section of your home and look for items to sell.

Every 3-6 months:

Review your 401 (k)

Re-evaluate the catalogs you receive and remove your name from those you no longer wish to receive.

Once a Year:

Update your budget.

Schedule a time to do your taxes.

Review your credit report.

Recap of Week 5

I have not had a chance to organize my personal information, but I have been thinking about it and plotting out how I will do it. I know that I need to stop putting it off, but I make myself excuses like now that the new washer and refrigerator are set up, we can get back on track....but who knows if that will really happen.

However, I did do the other parts of my week. I know that I got over 150 minutes of activity last week because I volunteered at our Earth Day festival on Saturday and helped the kids with their Easter egg hunts on Sunday (plus everything else that I do from day to day). We've also been trying to work on our donating, so once we get our budget in the works, we can work that into the budget.

12 Weeks to A Happier Family: Week 5

Fitness Goal:

Get active in short bursts.

Nutrition Goal:

Drink more calcium.

Health Goal:

Set your GPS before you hit the road.

Happiness Goal:

Do Something for charity.

Broken Down:

Fitness Goal:

Get 150 minutes of moderate exercise a week. These can be done in 3 10 minute workouts a day.

Nutrition Goal:

Ensure that both you and your children get the correct amount of Vitamin D and calcium.

Health Goal:

Try to be the best driver possible.

Happiness Goal:

How to raise a more giving child:

-Go with her interests. Find out what the child truly cares about and then have her donate some change from her piggy bank and write a check for a charity.

-Volunteer. Do something at home with your child. Project Linus gives families opportunities to make blankets for needy children, while The Box Project helps needy families.

-Share your old stuff. Have kids donate their old toys and clothes.

-Make a donation basket. Every time you go to the grocery store, buy a nonperishable and put it in a box or bin. When it is full, you and your child can take it to a shelter or food pantry.

-Try games like the World Repair Kit.

Week 5: Organize Your Personal Information

This week's goals:

Decide where to store important information. Ideas for this are storing it on your computer, on index cards, or in file folders.

Label each category so it can be easily referenced. Here are great examples of what to record for each category:

*Health

-Allergies (to food, medicine, animals, etc.)

-Your blood pressure

-Health issues that run in the family

-Your cholesterol level

-Your blood type and those of family members

*Finances

-Your credit card number(s) and the phone number to call if your card is lost or stolen

-Your bank account numbers and phone number if your checkbook is lost or stolen

-A budget for your income, expenses, savings, and personal goals

-Your credit score

-Insurance information

*Safety

-Emergency contact numbers

-License plate number and VIN

-Flight numbers for any upcoming trips

-Current photos of every member of your family labeled with heights and weights

-photocopies of passports

*Just in case

-Measurements and clothing sizes for you, your partner, and your children

Purchase a fireproof safety box and store the following documents in it:

-marriage certificate

-birth certificates

-automobile titles

-wills

-household inventory list

-passports

Stay Organized!

Once a month:

-File away any new personal information you receive

Every 3-6 months:

-Add any new major purchases to your household inventory list

-Review your financial budget. Consider ways to save by cutting back on expenses.

Once a year

-Request a free credit report to make sure nothing unusual or unauthorized has popped up on it.

-Take new photos of your family members for your safety folder. Be sure to note heights and weights.

-Update health records.

Recap of Week 4

Cleaning has been difficult this past week, due to our washing machine breaking. That then spiraled into a giant mess. In order to get the washer out of our tiny laundry area (also our pantry), Aaron had to move the refrigerator and take the pantry off the wall. Now, the large "pantry" is in the middle of our kitchen and all of the food that was once in it is all over our counters and stove. So clothes are piled everywhere and there are piles of stuff lying around waiting for the chaos to stop. The washer is supposed to get here on Wednesday, and Bob got a new fridge because ours is a disaster. That is supposed to be delivered on Saturday. Then, things can resume to normality, at least normality for us.

As for the week towards a happier family, we have done quite a few good things in regards to that. The kids and I went on a picnic and nature walk one day last week after I got off of work. Aaron was not able to join us because he was working late, but the kids had a lot of fun playing with bubbles, scouting for bugs, and running around the park. In fact, a child that we met there looked at the little notebooks and crayons I got for the kids to draw what they see and said that I thought of everything. It was awesome that someone noticed that I'd put a lot of effort into this trek.

On Saturday, while my dad had Jude, I took Tahiri to the Easter egg hunt at the presidential library downtown. Since that was pretty windy, I went to pick up my friend Marissa and went to the Blooms festival at this awesome park for the arts in the woods. We walked around for hours and then took the kids back home. We stayed up late, smoked the hookah, and did mini healing sessions. Then we dressed up Sunday and took another hike.

My turbulent week ended with beautiful synthesis and the feeling of being truly okay.

12 Weeks to A Happier Family: Week 4

Fitness Goal:

Take a nature hike with your kids.

Nutrition Goal:

Cut back on caffeine.

Health Goal:

Pick the right medical team.

Happiness Goal:

Eat Dinner Together, or at least eat something together.

Broken Down:

Fitness Goal:

1) Scout out a good place to hike in your area.

2) Make sure shoes fit.

3) Let the kids help prepare by filling up water bottles, making trail mix, and looking at maps.

4) Choose an easy route.

5) Point out waterfalls, wild flowers, and bird nests along the way.

6) Let your child invite a friend. They will be less likely to complain.

7) Let everyone be hike leader for a little while.

8) Make frequent stops for water and snacks.

9) Praise patience and playfulness early and often.

10) Head out in the morning time.

11) Create an explorer's tool kit with the following: magnifying glass, camera, hand sanitizer, sunscreen, crayons and notepad, water, and a snack.

12) Hunt for bugs.

13) Keep it short.

14) Collect leaves for leaf rubbing (on paper)

15) Recreate the beauty through art.

Nutrition Goal:

10 Ways to Get Instant Energy (without caffeine)

1) Laugh out loud.

2) Bust a move.

3) Give yourself a quick massage.

4) Smell lemon, orange, or lime to awaken the senses.

5) Drink water.

6) Try Tai Chi.

7) Snack smart with a combo of protein and carbs.

8) Listen to music you like.

9) Stand tall.

10) Try yoga poses like Eagle Arms and Leg Stretch.

15 Ways to Get A Lot Healthier (FAST!)

1) Take a hike. It takes less than 30 minutes to walk a mile.

2) Kiss him like you mean it (to improve endorphines).

3) Don't worry, be happy.

4) Add color to your salad.

5) Drink a glass of wine a day.

6) Chew a stick of sugar free gum.

7) Fill up on fiber.

8) Drink more milk.

9) Get outside for at least 20 minutes a day.

10) Take a multivitamin containing folic acid.

11) Instead of a can of soda, drink some vegetable juice.

12) Put sunscreen on your feet too.

13) Get more sleep.

14) Patrol your portions.

15) Floss daily.

Health Goal:

We already have doctors for us and the kids, so this doesn't really pertain to us.

Happiness Goal:

We have been eating together every night! So this one is also pretty much mastered.

Week 4: Organize Your Cleaning Schedule

This week's goals:

Make a list of all the chores that need to be done around the house. Break them down into daily, weekly, and monthly activities. Then create a chore chart and have a family meeting to delegate jobs. Post the chart so everyone can see it on a daily basis.

Make a "Bare Minimum" list containing the absolute essential chores that must be completed each week. When you have a hectic week, stick to this bare minimum list so your house doesn't fall into complete disarray while you deal with life. Some bare minimums may include: cleaning dishes, everyday pickup, and the minimum number of loads of laundry needed to keep the family clothed.

Take fifteen minutes each night to straighten up the house. Make it a family chore by assigning each person a different room and list this on the chore chart.

Clean one room or complete one chore each day. This will save you from waiting your entire Saturday on cleaning.

Assign each family member his or her own towel for the entire week. This will cut down on laundry. Color-coding the towels is the easiest way to tell them apart.

Place a set of disposable disinfecting wipes in each bathroom. These are great for quick touch ups between thorough cleanings.

Save space by minimizing cleaners. Start buying one all-purpose cleaner whenever possible.

Tips:

Carry a basket around the house while you are cleaning. If you find something that does not belong in the room you are cleaning, put it in the basket. This saves you tons of time by cutting down on trips around the house. But don't forget to empty the basket every time you clean, or it will become a clutter collector.

Make your bed every day before you leave the house.

A family chore chart provides consistency for the entire family. Kids know what is expected of them.

Clean off the kitchen counter and wash dishes or load the dishwasher as soon as dinner is finished.

As you clean a room or area, try to work from top to bottom and then from left to right so you do not waste time back-tracking.

Let your children choose the day of the week they want to clean their rooms.

Do tasks in bulk.

If your house is difficult to clean, you have too much stuff!

Once a Month:

If there is a particular chore that no one likes, rotate the responsibility each month.

Every 3-6 Months:

Change or launder slipcovers on the furniture.

Once a Year:

Have a family meeting to update the chore chart.

Steam clean carpets and upholstery.

Recap of Week 3

I went out last week and bought a planner that would accommodate my work and home life. I started putting things in it right away, but still managed to miss that the Literary Festival was this past weekend. Fortunately, there was not much that I would have been interested in, so it was okay.

I still have not been able to really compile my comprehensive to do list, with the A, B, and C differentiations, but I plan on doing that this week for sure.

I went to a hypnotist on Friday, hoping to get past life regression therapy done, but the therapist talked me into getting weight loss hypnosis done first, since it would be my first time to be hypnotized. Also, that program is 2 hours, and since I was already paying for 2 hours, it was the cheapest way to go. I have to say that I was pleased with the process. I didn't feel that I went completely under, but knew that I had tried my best not to listen to the words and instead daydream about whatever I could think of. It really did help me with my anger issues as well as hunger issues. There are still a lot of things that I am trying to work on, but I know that it will come to me eventually.

12 Weeks to A Happier Family: Week 3

Fitness Goal:

Plan to get moving at least once a week with the whole family.

Nutrition Goal:

Count your daily serving of fruits and vegetables and increase the number by 2.

Health Goal:

Find one way to save on health care expenses.

Happiness Goal:

Do a family health check.

Broken Down:

Fitness Goal-

1) Stay active as a family.

2) Get moving with active outdoor toys: sacks for racing, an outdoor jump around, super parachute, scooter, or play lawn mower.

Nutrition Goal-

1) Have fruit with dinner.

2) Introduce kid friendly veggies such as cucumber, broccoli, minty peas, roasted red pepper soup, and crinkly carrot fries.

3) Teach kids the food pyramid:

Fruits: Add a bowl of fruit to each meal. Activity to teach: do a matching game with fresh fruit and it's freeze-dried, dried, or frozen counterpart.

Vegetables: Add a variety of veggies to the table. Activity to teach: Let kids plan the veggie side by color.

Grains: Change all pastas and breads to whole grain. Activity to teach: Have your kids play eye spy with all of the good stuff in whole grain compared to white bread.

Dairy: Buy skim or low fat milk and cheeses. Activity to teach: Let them build their own sundae with low fat frozen yogurt, granola, nuts, and dried fruit.

Meat and Beans: a tablespoon of peanut butter or an egg for breakfast is good for a serving. Activity to teach: Have them do a bean test with spreads compared to the beans, or have them taste tacos with chicken, beef, and turkey and have them pick the winner.

Fat, Sugars, and Salt: make sure you check labels and go fresh whenever you can to avoid an overload of these. Activity to teach: Exercise a little more to burn calories from sugary foods.

Health Goal-

The kids have ARkids and the adults rarely go to the doctor, so we don't really need this step.

Happiness Goal-

1) Happier parents make happier kids:

Have a weekday update. Share a highlight and a low point from the day.

Don't make your spouse guess when you're mad. Bring up things when they happen.

Don't give all of your attention to the kids.

Make time to be alone.

Make dates cheap.

Look for little ways to be nice.

Go out on a limb and try something new together.

2) Simple secrets of happy families

Find a community that fits your family.

Get a pet. Teach children the responsibility of caring for it.

Talk to your kids.

Write down your thoughts.

Share the chores with everyone.

Be nice to your in-laws.

Share your family story.

Believe in yourself.

Don't coddle your children.

Treat your husband and kids the way you treat your friends.

Control your temper.

Cherish traditions.

Show up on time.

Welcome other adults into your family.

Tell them you love them.

Week 3: Organize Your Schedule

This week's goals:

Buy ONE daily planner to use for both work and your personal life. Using more than one leaves room for confusion and overlapped appointments.

Sit down with your family and plan your week/month ahead of time so you can:

-Schedule babysitters

-Divide errands

-Plan meals

-Divide chores

-Plan driving arrangements for activities

Gather all your To Do items from sticky notes, calendars and scraps of paper and create a To Do list that you keep in your planner. Make this list as complete as possible.

Sort your To Do tasks by:

A: Tasks that need to be done this week (pay electric bill, etc). Schedule these in your planner.

B: Tasks that need to be done this month (buy birthday present, send thank you note, etc). Schedule these in your planner.

C: Tasks that you would like to get done in the future (have lunch with friend). List these tasks on a separate piece of paper to refer to when you have extra time.

Once you have your tasks sorted into categories, number the tasks in each category, in the order in which they must be accomplished. If you get all of your A (weekly) Tasks done and you have time, you can tackle a task from the B (monthly) list or even the C (future) list. If you don't get all of your A Tasks done, make those unfinished tasks top priority for the next day.

Schedule your dentist and doctor appointments for the next year, and veterinarian appointments if you have pets. Schedule kids' pediatric appointments and family members' dental check ups back-to-back so you can make fewer trips.

Place a small notebook by your bed for those nights you lie awake thinking of things you need to do. Write them down and get some sleep knowing that you'll put them on your To Do list in the morning.

Use a page of your planner for a long-term To Do list. This could include gifts that need to be delivered, borrowed items to be returned, movies to rent, books to read, etc. when you write these things down, you free yourself from the worry of forgetting.

Tips:

Be realistic about what you can accomplish in one day.

Schedule meetings with a start time and an end time so they don't drag on and waste time.

Schedule errands based on geographical location. Don't waste time with extra driving.

Whenever possible, schedule your appointments for first thing in the morning. The later the appointment, the better the chance you'll be delayed.

Avoid placing overwhelming tasks on your To Do list by breaking large tasks down into smaller, easier-to-accomplish tasks. Identify the large task and then write down all the steps you need to take to complete that task. Then set a final deadline for the task and work your way toward it, accomplishing one step each day.

Store your schedule or To Do list electronically instead of paper.

Complete tasks. You only get points on a score board when the goal is made.

Consider your time to valuable to waste.

Once a Month:

Pick a C Task from your list and schedule time to complete it.

Schedule downtime. If you are used to being on the go every minute of your life, downtime may feel uncomfortable at first, even boring. But boredom could very well turn into peace.

Schedule dates with your spouse, your child, your best friend-the people most important to you.

Every 3-6 Months:

Re-evaluate your C Tasks and set final deadlines for items that have been left undone since the last time you evaluated the list. Break the task down into small tasks if needed.

Compare your To Do list to your "Priorities" list and make sure your activities are honoring your priorities.

Once a Year:

On Labor Day, write down everything you wanted to do over the summer but never made time for. When you get your new planner for next year, schedule in these activities.

When you purchase your annual planner, choose one that you really love the look and feel of and that will accommodate your note-making style. If the planner fits your style, you'll be more likely to enjoy using it and use it consistently.

When you buy a new planner, transfer all birthdays and anniversaries for the year.

Recap of Week 2

My Top 10 Priorities is tacked to my wall beside my computer monitor at work. It's hard not to glance at it every time I look up at the computer.

My children's health and view of the world: Aaron read Jude parts of two books that we bought a long time ago this past week. One was about inventions, and he read a few sections of that, and the other was about China, which Jude was curious about because our neighbors are Vietnamese/Chinese/American. I felt good about Jude learning things like these. As for Tahiri, I slacked off on giving her the medicine twice a day like I should. I am now putting it on the stove next to the door (when the stove's not on of course) so that I can't leave the house without being reminded that it needs to be done.

My relationship with Aaron: I have been very leery of Aaron this week. I haven't been able to really conversate with him and I couldn't really figure out why. But he keeps picking at me about being Buddhist and a vegetarian. So finally, we had a talk and he explained that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings and that he would be more supportive. It made me feel closer to him.

Being Buddhist: I haven't been the best Buddhist lately. I've been getting frustrated and angry at ignorant people, when really I should just be a little sad for them because they don't understand how the world works, at least not from my perspective. I am however considering turning a closet that we rarely use into my sanctuary where I can sit and meditate when I need to and close the door when I don't so things don't get broken. I just don't know if that's considered disrespectful. I have to ask my neighbors.

Eating Healthy: I've been doing much better. I have eaten mostly rice the past week, with a few cheats here and there. It actually works pretty well because I'm not as hungry throughout the day. Soon, Aaron and I will go on our 4 month rice fast.

Exercising: Not been doing it. :(

Finishing work while at work: I actually stayed at work until 7pm on Saturday and cleaned my whole office. It feels fantastic. Now I'm working on my filing and making sure I get everything done on time.

Saving Money: Haven't been doing this either. :(

Crafting: Haven't had time, but I have lots of ideas.

Reading: I actually took a break a couple nights this past week and took a bath and read. I've also tried reading before I go to sleep.

Establishing lasting friendships: My friend Marissa came over last Monday night to hang out, my two K(ch)risti's came over on Sunday, and my friend Sadie (and Marissa) are coming over tonight.

As for my weekly better life stuff, I have done at least 5 minutes of physical activity each day. We have been trying to give our kids breakfast every morning because we haven't been before now. I know everyone's BMI except Aaron's. And we still have a pretty strict bedtime, but have problems with Tahiri getting into Jude's bed and him coming to tell on here. So 2 hours after "bedtime" they are still awake. We also haven't made Jude the ticket system yet. We really need to...

Seven Days

...and I'm gone. I run away. I don't write letters, I'm here to stay. (Karaocake)

I did something drastic this past week. I had been reconnecting with an old friend, simply enough. Were there still feelings there? Maybe. But I didn't act on any of that. I tried to love him as a person, a deeply flawed person, but I could tell that his intentions were not that of a pure man. And it was difficult letting him go. I think that's what made it wonderful. I knew that I didn't want anything to come between Aaron and me. I didn't want him to ever not be able to trust me when my past comes to haunt me. I had to decide this for myself, so I kept it secret. I didn't mention it, a form of lying, I know. But doing this allowed me to know for myself and it was my choice. I decided that I didn't want anything to do with him. And of course it was difficult because I'm not perfect and my past is full of riddles and loose ends. But this one has been tied...or severed. I wish him the absolute best, and I hope that he finds his path to enlightenment. Maybe one day, in another life, our paths will cross again. But for now, it's my time and I hold the cards. I decide that it's enough for this lifetime. No ill feelings, no emptiness. I feel fulfilled in my decision, and am reminded of it everytime Aaron sneaks me a smile or brushes past me. The chills through my body let me know that I made the right decision. And I couldn't be happier.

12 Weeks to A Happier Family: Week 2

Fitness Goal:

Commit to 5 minutes of physical activity each day.

Nutrition Goal:

Pick one meal of the day to make more nutritious.

Health Goal:

Learn everyone's BMI.

Happiness Goal:

Set a strict bedtime--For you and the kids.

Broken Down:

Fitness Goal-

1) Play Hard, Play Safe

2) What to do when you're too tired to work out: baby bridge, bicycle crunch, mountain climber, upper body dip.

Nutrition Goal-

1) Try to make breakfast every day.

2) Spice up lunch.

3) Get together and make a healthy, balanced dinner.

Health Goal-

Tahiri's BMI is 13.1, underweight for a child her age

Jude's BMI is 14.7, almost underweight for a child his age

Tyshani's BMI is 38.97, morbidly obese (need to work on that)

Aaron's BMI was not taken.

Happiness Goal-

Setting a Bedtime, for everyone.

1) Watch food and drink consumption

2) Avoid stimulating activities after dinner

3) Give advanced notice

4) No television time before bed

5) Establish a night time routine

*Set a specific time and stick to it.

*Give a warning to wind down.

*Offer a snack that is low in sugar and high in protein

*Brush teeth

*Give a warm bath

*Read a story

*Play soft music while you read

*Give the child a snuggle toy

*Keep last goodnights brief

Give Jude a ticket system to get out of bed once after being laid down.

Week 2: Organize Your Priorities

Does it ever feel like you spend all your hours and days doing but not living?

Yes, it absolutely feels like a huge cycle that is so difficult to get out of.

What are your top ten priorities? (Not in any particular order)

1) My children's health and view of the world

2) My relationship with Aaron

3) Buddhism

4) Eating healthy

5) Exercising

6) Finishing my work while at work

7) Saving money

8) Crafting

9) Reading

10) Establishing lasting friendships

Are you living these priorities each day or even every week?

I would have to say no. I don't take enough time to devote to all of these things.

This week's goals:

To help you realize what your priorities are ask yourself questions such as:

What do you value most?

Getting into better health and establishing lasting friendships.

What things are most important to me:

good health, strong relationship with Aaron, communication with children, peace of mind, good friends, spiritual fulfillment, travel, education, a clean house

Why am I here?

I believe that I am here to make other's lives as fulfilled as possible.

Where am I going?

I'm going to explore the world.

What is my purpose?

I am going to help others and live a full life of enlightenment.

Compare a list of all the activities that you participate in with your top ten priorities.

I wake up late, scurry the kids to school, rush to work, play on the computer, email, help others, try to get my desk organized, put off phone calls, leave work, pick up kids, take them to park if weather permits, go home and cook dinner, read to the kids before bed, clean the house, watch tv, take a bath, go to bed. They are pretty different....

Decide on activities that can be eliminated to make time for your top ten. Focus on cutting out activities that take your time but don't bring you joy.

Instead of waking up late, I could wake up early and get the kids up early to eat a good breakfast (kid's health). Watching tv is usually mine and Aaron's time to cuddle and enjoy each other. When the kids go to bed, instead of watching tv right away, I can go across the street and chant and meditate with the neighbors. During my work day, instead of playing on the computer, I could focus on getting bits of exercise in. Also instead of playing, I could work harder on finishing my work. Instead of frivolous shopping on the internet or at stores, I could save up all that money. I need to start keeping an expense record so I will see just how much I'm spending on things. While I watch tv, I could get my crafts out, and weekends could be for crafting. Every night, I could set aside 30 minutes, even if it's while I take a bath, to read. Every week, I need to schedule a playdate with a friend or two to establish the bond of my relationships.

Tips:

Read your top ten list on a regular basis. (Print it out and post it on the wall by the computer monitor.)

Minimize energy spent with negative people. (Stay in my office at work and don't gossip; don't try to contact those who will drain my energy, no matter how alluring it is.)

Don't forget to pray. (Go across the street daily or every other day to meditate and chant.)

Make a list of things you and your family like to do that cost little or no money, and then try to do as many of these as you can each week. (Sit down with the family and make a list.)

The next time you are about to spend a chunk of your time, ask yourself: Does this activity help me stick to my priorities or is is taking time away from them?

Remember, much of what the media sells and portrays is make believe. Don't compare your life to TV, advertisements, or celebrities. Live your life the way that is best for you and your family.

Use the ten-minute rule to help you accomplish more. The next time you find yourself with an extra ten minutes, challenge yourself to use it on a priority or a goal. You may think ten minutes does not sound like much, but when you add up a bunch of ten-minute intervals throughout the week, it can make a big difference.

Stay Organized:

Once a Month:

Go on a date with your partner.

Take time to call or write a friend that you need to catch up with.

Spend the day out with your child.

Organize one room, drawer, or closet.

Every 3-6 Months:

Review your list and add or subtract priorities as they change in your life.

Spend time with an elderly relative.

Do something positive for our environment.

Complete a long-term project that has been lingering on your To Do list for several weeks.

Once a Year:

When you purchase your new planner for the year, schedule your priorities first.

Evaluate your extracurricular activities from the past year and decide if you want to continue those activities in the new year.

Recap of Week 1

As far as sleep goes, I've been doing pretty good at sleeping for a limited amount of time. I cut back on my naps after work, but then around 6 or 7, I would fall asleep on the couch. The lethargy would catch up with me and I'd be out without even realizing it. Usually, I would take a nap and KNOW that was my goal, but with this, I would be willing myself to stay awake but was unable to. I have also had trouble waking up on time, much less waking up early.

I have not been very good about jotting down the list of things to do. In fact, I've been relying on the whole, "I'll do it when I get everything organized. Then it will be easier." Not a very good reason not to write the list.

I tried writing every day last week. I would even have the website up, but I would be blank...or I would be so busy with work. Or I'd be playing a game on the computer and not be able to pull away from it. I'm still a work in progress.

We have severely limited the amount of tv we watch, as well as what the kids watch. From Monday until Friday, Tahiri had not watched any tv at home and Jude had watched 30 minutes. It was amazing to know that they were actually playing with their toys, and coloring, and we were eating dinner together. As for the weekend, all bets were off.

I have not took time out just to be. However, I just set three alarms: 10:30, 1:30, and 6:00 where I can practice sitting and meditating.

Which brings me to meditating. I actually meditated for 15 minutes this week, at one sitting, with my neighbors. It was incredible. It hurt my body and I was slightly uncomfortable, but I think that is to be expected.

I have not exercised as much as I'd like. We have been out to the park 3 times last week, but I don't think that was enough. I need to work on that a lot more in the coming weeks.

I have tried to schedule me time, but it has been difficult this week. I guess that's why it's a work in progress. I have made leaps and bounds in some things, but others still need work.

On eliminating energy drainers: I am proud to say that I have worked through some of the clutter in my house, and it's not even done yet. There is much more to come. On unhealthy relationships, I am very proud to say that I have deleted a number from my phone, in every aspect, and I really wanted to have closure, but I didn't need it. I realized that it was too much for me to do at this point. I have also deleted my account on momslikeme.com, because it was draining my energy. Some of the moms were so mean spirited and felt that they knew everything, and I didn't have the time or energy to fight with them. Plus, with my new Buddhist lifestyle, fighting is definitely not the answer.

As for my weekly goals:

Get out and exercise at least 3 times a week. I did this!!! I would get out of my car and go immediately to the daycare (which is only a block away) to get the kids. It was awesome. Then, we'd walk straight across the street to the playground and play for a good hour or so. We did this 3 days last week. I was extremely proud of myself.

Put away the salt shaker. We actually watched our salt intake this week. We were careful to not give the kids too much of it, and we didn't even go on our weekly McDonald's outing.

Teach your kids what to do in an emergency. We went over the phone numbers and I taught him about 911.

Limit everyone's screen time. We also did this!! Unbelievable how much more time you have when you eliminate this. Aaron even got into it and didn't get on the computer until after the kids were in bed. It was awesome to feel more like a family.

Can't wait for week 2!!

Day 1: Monday, March 21

I started by writing out the rules and goals on a previous post. Then, I tried to practice what I was saying. After work, I went straight to the daycare. I didn't even go inside the house for anything first. I walked the half a block to the daycare, picked up the kids, and took them across the street to the elementary school playground. The kids played until Jude's face turned bright red. Then, I walked them home and said goodbye to Aaron as he left for plumbing school. This happens every Monday. Then, I gently told Jude that there would be no tv or computer. When he asked to play games on my phone, I also said no. He cried and threw a fit and complained that he was hungry. Instead of making a bunch of macaroni and filling him up with it, I made that plus some chicken nuggets and some corn. He actually ate all of his nuggets and mac and cheese, but refused to touch his corn. It made me happy that it was just on his plate. Tahiri ate a lot of her stuff too and then I put her into the bath while Jude played with his toys. After her bath, I got her pajamas on, gave her a vitamin and she sat on her bed and chewed it while I brushed out her hair, whispering Amitabha to her in the dark. She said, "night night momma" and I crept out of the room. Then, I read 4 books to Jude, and since he had been so great, I let him watch one episode of the Backyardigans before bed. He then went to bed without protest. It felt like an incredible win.

12 Weeks to A Happier Family: Week 1

Fitness Goal:

Get out and exercise at least 3 times a week.

Nutrition Goal:

Put away the salt shaker.

Health Goal:

Teach your kids what to do in an emergency.

Happiness Goal:

Limit everyone's screen time.

*Broken Down:

Fitness Goal: Great Outdoor Games

Tea Time: take stuffed animals to an afternoon picnic on the lawn.

Pooch Parade: teach dogs new tricks.

Fairy House: collect building materials and use a little bit of glue to make a home for fairies.

Hopscotch: get out colored chalk and draw a huge hopscotch path.

Lawn Flicks: hang a white sheet on the side of your house and project a movie using a digital projector. then bring on the popcorn, pj's, and pillows for the perfect outdoor movie night.

Swing Along: Build a tire swing.

Tag, You're It!: enjoy a game of family tag or flag football in the yard.

Neighborhood Races: have an old fashioned sack race or three legged race.

I am definitely going to try the tea party, fairy house, and hopscotch. Hopefully I can try the outdoor movie night and build a tire swing, but we don't really live in a neighborhood for the races and games.

10 Fun Ways to Enjoy the Great Outdoors:

*Go bird watching: Get to know the birds in your region. Get a pair of binoculars to look at trees, bushes, telephone polls, and grass for birds. Observe the colors, size, and behavior. Listen to its song and watch how it flies. Make notes and identify the birds in books or online. Attract birds to your yard with a bird feeder, bird bath, or nest box.

* Stroll with your senses: Teach kids to explore the woods with eyes, ears, nose, and fingers on high alert. Bring a magnifying glass or binoculars. Peer under logs and rocks for insects. Sniff the pine trees. Feel the rough bark or sticky sap. Listen to the sounds of birds, water, or small animals.

*Gather Nature's Collectibles: Young kids can gather acorns, pinecones, colorful leaves, and feathers. Store them in a shoe box or plastic display case, or showcase them in craft projects.

*Bring the Outdoors in: Continue the lessons with books and magazines or trips to museums, aquariums, and nature centers.

*Catch a Critter: choose an insect that fascinates your child, such as a ladybug, grasshopper, and fireflies, and help your child capture the bug and place it in a plastic jar along with a small twig and leaves.

*Pick a fruit: Plan a trip to the farmer's market to teach kids that produce doesn't come from the supermarket. Eat fruit off the branch or take it home to make a pie, cake, or jam.

*Gaze at the Stars: Check out astronomy books and then look for Orion or the big dipper.

*Enjoy the Weather: Look at the clouds, and ask your child what shapes and images he sees. Older kids can identify different types of clouds. Watch a thunderstorm from a cozy window. Dress them properly and let them stomp in the rain or snow.

*Get growing: give your child her own patch of garden or pot of soil and have her plant a flower, vegetable, or herb of her choice. Relax your standards.

*Celebrate the Sunrise and Sunset: Take kids out to listen to the birdcalls and the flurry of activities after sunrise. At sunset, enjoy the sky's multicolor show, and look and listen for nocturnal creatures.

20 Activities to do with your Family this Weekend

*Rock on: Secure your picnic tablecloth with colorful weights. Wash and dry rocks and cover each with a coat of Mod Podge. Then decorate the rocks and paint a second coat of glue on.

*Visit a Fire Station

*Collect leaves

*Make Sunflowers: slice styrofoam balls of varying sizes in half. Using tacky glue, cover the rounded side of each half with sunflower seeds. Cut petals from yellow tissue paper and attach them to the flat side with glue. Finish by covering the back side with a circle cut from yellow paper. Attach a ribbon and tie to the branch of a tree.

*Root for the Home Team: go to a minor league baseball game or a town swim meet.

*Have a Four Square tournament.

*Play Capture the Flag.

*Eat Out (Way Out): choose an exotic cuisine that your child hasn't tried. Find the country on a globe or map, and read a short introduction to that nation's culture. Go to the restaurant early, so your kids can take in the atmosphere.

*Volunteer: Check to see if your town has a gardening club or help out at animal-rescue organizations, or take them to visit the elderly at a retirement home.

*Check out the Stars: buy a star chart. Then choose a spot in your yard and venture out after dinner to watch how the night sky changes hour to hour and day to day.

*Build a Garden Labyrinth: outline a path in your backyard using stones, twigs, or unmowed grass. Simple patterns can be found on the internet or in books.

*Plan a Treasure Hunt: Plant little dime-store jewels and treasures in the garden. Then draw a map with directions. You can even hide the map and let the kids find it.

*Do magic tricks.

*Get cooking: make pie crusts, biscuits, cookies, or pizza.

*Kick the can.

*Create a Dress-Up Box: On a rainy day, weed out unwanted dresses, hats shoes, and costume jewelry from your closets. After your kids have picked out the items they want, donate the rest.

*Take Up a New Hobby: learn a new skill with your child, such as horseback riding, pottery, or ballet. Children find it affirming to see you struggling to master news skills.

*Be a Card Shark: turn off the tv and teach your child a classic card game.

*Frame It: gather sticks, pebbles, seashells, beach glass, and other natural objects from the beach or your yard. Cut cardboard into squares or rectangles, and cut out a display area using an X-acto knife. Have your child paint the cardboard and secure his treasures to the frame's face with glue. Pop in a photo and add cardboard back for support.

*Watch Old Movies: Watch classic movies.

Raise a Kid Who Loves the Earth

*Play in the Yard

*Frolic in the Rain

*Take a Hike

*Visit a Nature Center

*Plant Something

*Climb a Tree

*Go Camping

Nutrition Goal: Put Away Salt Shaker

Too much salt is bad because it can attribute to high blood pressure in children. Salty foods are often high in calories too. Eating too much salt and not drinking enough water can create kidney stones.

Look for low sodium options of processed food.

Low sodium breads that we might start purchasing are Pepperidge Farm 100% stoneground whole wheat bread.

Low sodium cereals we might start purchasing are Kelloggs frosted mini wheats, general mills fruity cheerios, general mills Dora cinnamon stars.

Low sodium snacks to consider are goldfish chocolate graham crackers, wheat thins low-sodium crackers, and newman's own low sodium popcorn.

Health Goal:

My son already knows my phone number by heart, but we need to teach him our address, and when to call 911.

Happiness Goal: Limit Everyone's Screen Time

Keep a Diary: Log everyone's tv time, including your own. Reform viewing habits.

Play "Hide and Don't Seek": Put a decorative throw over the tv.

Let them "buy" into the system: give two 15 minute coupons per day that he cashes in for tv time. He earns bonus tickets by doing extra chores. Let them either spend it each day or save up for a movie on the weekend.

Reward Reading: reading/tv exchange. For every reading minute, not including homework, they earn a minute of tv time, up to an hour.

Find something better to do: sign the kids up for after school programs or set up play dates.

Establish a TV-free family night: play a game, have your kids help with dinner.

Go Cold Turkey: Join Nation TV Turnoff week from April 24 to 30.

Be your kid's tv guide: limit tv sessions (no more than 2 hours a day). Treat screen time like a dessert, not a main course.

Pick the Programs: prescreen programs to make sure they are learning something from it.

Keep up the Chatter: Keep the mind active and alert. ask questions about the stuff being shown.

Analyze Ads: do ad busting. Have your child tell you when they think they're watching an ad. then ask them if it's something they can't live without.

Organize Now: Week 1: Organize Your Mind & Life Vision

In the first chapter of this new book that I got, Organize Now by Jennifer Ford Berry, it states that you need to start your organization from the inside. It then asks a series of questions. Since it is difficult for me to be held accountable for things, I figured I would start a blog that would answer the questions so that I would hold myself more accountable. Thus it begins.

Why do you want to get organized?

I want to get organized so that I will feel less chaotic in my life.

What does an organized life look like to you?

I see myself finding everything I need without having to tear my house apart. I see that I don't rebuy things because I forgot I had them. I see simplicity and warmth instead of clutter.

What is your vision for your life?

I picture having enough room to accomplish the things that I dream of, like baking and eating dinner as a family instead of in front of the television. I picture people walking in and feeling welcomed instead of overwhelmed. I picture being a gracious and exquisite hostess.

This week's goals:

Write out your vision of your life. Answer these questions to find inspiration. If you could do anything...

*Where would you live? I would live near the woods, but still in town. I would live close to my children's schools and my work. I would live in a community that was quirky, with many different types of people living in it.

*How would you earn an income? I would own a nonprofit bakery that was geared towards helping the homeless and less fortunate come in, sit, and have a pastry. I would help fund it by writing the books that I have floating around in my head.

*What would your days look like? I would wake up at 5am and go to the gym for one hour. Then, I would sit in my zen garden and chant Amitabha for an hour. At 7, I would get my kids ready for school and walk them there before heading to the bakery. I would work making cupcakes and pies for my customers and sit to talk with everyone and hear their stories. Then, I would go home, pick up my kids, and we would sit outside and play for an hour before going in to do homework and make dinner. We would sit and eat a healthy meal as a family and then have a treat that I created for dessert. We would give the kids their baths and maybe watch a tv show with them while drying their hair and putting on pajamas. Then, we would brush their teeth and put them to bed with a story, and also the Amitabha chant. After the kids were in bed, Aaron and I would watch a movie together while I worked on my writing and then I would chant before going to bed.

*What would you do for fun? Every week, we would have a get together at the bakery for our friends to stop by and visit. We would also go to the movies once a month with the kids and out for ice cream or a treat. We would make our backyard a wonderland with all sorts of outdoor things to do.

*What would you do more of? I would relax more. I would sit outside and play more. I would laugh more. I would have more visitors over on a regular basis.

*What would you do less of? I would watch less tv and play on the computer less. I would also sleep less (because right now, I'm sleeping about 10-12 hours a day).

Think about what you want to accomplish in the next 56 weeks.

*When you look back on this time in your life, what will you remember? I will remember being tired all of the time. I will remember my guilt. I will remember diagnosing my illness. I will hopefully remember the little things my son and daughter do.

*What will you be proud of? I will be proud that I started this project. I will be proud that I devoted myself to Buddhism and Amitabha.

Get a minimum of 7 hours of sleep per night.

I definitely do this one already. My goal should be more, "Try to limit yourself to 8 hours of sleep per day."

Start your day by jotting down a short To Do list of everything you want or need to do that day.

I used to do this every day but I stopped with the excuse that I needed to get organized first and get my stuff together BEFORE doing the list, when really, I just need to make the list and stick with it until it's done.

Start a journal.

I intend to use this blog as a journal to jot down my feelings. I don't know if I will remember to do it, but hopefully I will when I get into the office.

Limit the amount of television you watch, especially programs with negative images and messages.

This one will be hard to do because I enjoy things with a little drama. I know that I will be able to limit it though, because I do have times when I lose interest in something that I've been really into for weeks. One day, I just won't have the desire to watch it and won't do so for a few weeks.

Schedule a two-minute break two to three times to spend time alone and just be.

This one should be easy in the aspect that I really want to do it. I will just now have to set alarms to go off so that I can not let the day pass by without doing it.

Practice meditating.

This is so helpful to me because I am now becoming Buddhist and want to practice the Amitabha meditations.

Schedule times to exercise. Go to the gym, take a bike ride, walk the dog, hike in the woods, run around the yard with the kids.

I really need to focus on this. I'm hoping that I can start getting up early enough to go to the gym. I also want to start walking my dogs to get exercise. And of course I want to get outdoors with my kids.

Schedule more "me time." Turn all the phones off and plan something you love to do just for you.

I really want to start reading the dozens of books that I have bought that I have been unable to read thus far because of my busy schedule. Even 30 minutes to an hour a day would be wonderful.

Eliminate energy drainers in your life: clutter, unhealthy relationships, unfinished projects, items on your to do list that don't need to be done until other tasks are complete.

I especially need to do these things. I have started working the clutter out of my rooms. I need to work on saying no to relationships that I know drain me and make me feel guilty. I have decided to just delete numbers and friends from social sites, and stop putting myself in situations where arguments are inevitable. I need to focus on the projects that I truly want to finish and not buy any more objects until the projects are done. My to do list always needs to be streamlined.

Take control of your time. Set goals and then break them into achievable daily to do's. When goals are clear, you can control your time and make space for priorities.

I am going to start setting alarms on my phone so that I will not let time pass me by and start limiting the things that I do that are not productive.

Simplify your life and your thinking by cutting back on the amount of negative information and images you let penetrate your mind. Eliminate pessimistic news, advertising, newspapers, depressing books, and violent movies.

I somewhat disagree with this tip. Pessimistic news, although sad, is something that you need to objectify yourself to. It's necessary to know what's going on in the world. I also enjoy depressing books and violent movies, because they make me realize my life is better instead of focusing on more negativity.

When an intimate moment presents itself, grab it!

I need to stop trying to wait for Aaron to initiate affection and try to do things myself.

Check in with yourself before making decisions. Take a deep breath, relax, and listen to your inner voice. Then, make the decision best for you. Don't feel pressure to please other people.

This is very important for me. This step is essential to my happiness. I know when things are wrong for me, and rarely do they end up as happy endings when I go against what my inner voice says. This is an excellent tip that I need to follow.

Pay attention to your dreams. Sometimes our dreams provide us with helpful subconscious insight.

Yes, sometimes. Other times, I listen to them and they lead me to a negative relationship that I then have trouble getting out of. So I need to be selective and listen to that inner voice.

Stay Organized:

Once a month:

*Schedule a day just for you. Do something that makes you happy.

Two words: flea market.

*Spend a few minutes writing in your journal.

Or blogging. :)

Every 3-6 months:

*Spend an hour or two alone to take stock of your emotional state.

I will start by doing that now and answering the questions about my current state. No time like the present:

How do you feel most of the time?

I am usually pretty sad and overwhelmed.

How are your relationships?

With Aaron-a little strained. I'm trying to work things out and I know that I want to be with him forever, but I have to change some things about myself, which is stressful.

With my mom-Pretty good. She doesn't really know anything about me right now.

With my sister-same as my mom really. She doesn't know much about the person I am now.

With my stepdad-good. I don't keep promises like I should.

With my kids-good, but I need to treat them better and make them my number 1 priority (and show that).

With my friends-strained. Everyone lives in such a different world from me, and it's my fault for expecting them to come to mine.

If you're unhappy, honestly evaluate why, then have the courage to change the situation.

I honestly am unhappy due to my illness. It all stems from there. I'm tired all of the time. So lethargic that my body feels like bags of sand tied together. I don't feel human and it upsets me that people don't seem to understand that I have no control of my lethargy. So I think that once I get that handled, everything else will fall into place.

Once a year:

On your birthday, make an effort to reflect on the past year. What did you learn? How have you changed? What do you want to accomplish in the year to come? After you've reflected, honor this day you were born.

Oh Baby, You Know I Hate To Sleep Alone

There is a conspiracy transpiring against me. It is a well known fact to those around me that I do not like to be alone. This was much more so the case before I had children; now I generally enjoy a quiet moment to myself. However, I still hate to sleep alone at night. I don't know what it is, but if I am in that bed at night by myself, I find it very difficult to fall asleep. Aaron and I can barely get a sentence out during the evening with the kids running around and interrupting constantly. Then, when they are put to bed, Aaron gets on World of Warcraft and I can't seem to really keep his attention. It is only in the bed, with the lights dim or off that we are able to hold a conversation. We giggle about the day, talk in funny voices, and name off what our names would be if we were one of the seven dwarfs. When I'm alone, I am drowned by the darkness and silence. I know that I grow weary and feel drowsy before most people, which is why sometimes I take my medication a little later to help me stay up a little later. This also proves to be a problem because low and behold, when I do, Aaron is passed out by 11 o'clock and I'm left to stay up until 2 or later by myself. It has happened so many times that I don't even try it anymore.

Last night was irritating to say the least. Aaron went to class both last night and Monday night. That means he doesn't get home until after 9 o'clock. I am especially tired because I've been wrangling two kids by myself all evening and I half expect him to also be tired after sitting in a classroom for a few hours. But nope. At 11, I turn to Aaron after finishing another episode of Desperate Housewives on Netflix (he secretly loves it) and tell him that I'm ready for bed. I ask if he's coming with me and he states a plain "no" without taking his eyes from his computer. "Why not?" I moan like a little girl with a pouty lip. "I'm not tired." He still does not avert his eyes and I start to dislike the obsessive compulsive way that he jutts out his chin and twists the hair of his beard while he's occupied with something. I do not say another word, but instead get up, tidy the living room, which at the moment is the only actual clean and organized room of the house, because of me, and then pile dishes in the sink and start to walk down the hall, muttering "Good night" under my breath. It is very obvious that I do not like the answer he has given me, and I want him to come tuck me in like he does every other night, but he is too occupied to even do that. I hear the old chair he loves squeak and groan as he gets up and heads down the hallway, anticipating the door opening. But instead, I hear the door of the bathroom close and I become more irritated.

I know that Aaron doesn't like Jude sleeping in the bed with us, so I create a plan to snag Jude out of his bed and allow him to fall asleep next to me, just so that when Aaron finally decides to claim his side of the bed, he will see Jude and me cuddling. If he says anything about it, I will smoothly retort that if he had been in the bed to tuck me in, it wouldn't have happened.

I sneak into the kids' room and the light from my bedroom shines directly on Tahiri's toddler bed, which is empty. I glance over to the corner where Jude's bed is and let my eyes adjust to the darkness, I saw Jude, laying on his back with Tahiri laying halfway on him, her leg slung over his stomach. I tapped on Jude's shoulder and tried to wake him to see if he wanted to get out from under his sister, but he didn't budge. They both looked so peaceful and serene, which made me stop and realize what I was doing. I was being vindictive just for the "winning" aspect of it. In that moment, I stood and stared down at my children, looking angelic when they usually look downright mischievous. The most affection I usually see is the occasional hug when they bump into each other in the hallway, but then I thought to myself that one of the first thing Tahiri says when walking in the room is "Where's Jude?" and it's "Where's Tahiri" for Jude.

I tucked myself in last night, thinking of how great I truly have it. I have a wonderful man who is sometimes too busy to notice me, but is willing to get up to make me strawberry almond milk and grab my peanuts from the kitchen, along with a bowl for the shells. He makes me laugh with his impressions and dirty talk, and he comforts me when I feel fat, and like a failure. My kids are two beautiful, intelligent, curious little people that dish out high fives and kisses on a regular basis, and bring home smiles and crafts they have constructed. They run toward me screaming "Mama" when they see me and who could ask for anything better? I know sometimes I'm needy and want extra attention, and sometimes it takes the perfect picture of my wild children cuddling to make me realize how good I have it.

Fuzzy Boots

The first time my daughter Tahiri saw these boots, she was terrified. Her father and I were not there to witness it but her Grammy testified to the fear. Aaron reassured his mother that he could get Tahiri to wear the boots. About a week later, after getting her dressed one morning, I tried to put the boots on her. She usually loves shoes, and "socks (pronounced sox)" and "shooz" were two of her first words, but this particular morning, she kicked and screamed when she saw me coming with them. She fought me while I put them on her and then collapsed on the bedroom floor and cried, face down in the carpet. Aaron and I ignored her and went about our morning ritual, and sure enough, about 2 minutes later when I went in to ask if she wanted breakfast, she stood up and ran for the kitchen, singing out "nommie noms." Since then, if we let her pick out her own shoes, she will always select this awesome pair of fuzzy boots. Who knows why she was so scared of them at first, but now I know that ignoring her and letting her throw her little tantrum is the right thing to do when these things occur.

Snow Day: A Recap of a Week

It is hard to believe that the first week of the year is already over. I have an immense feeling that this year will go just as fast as the last one did. I have pulled over 50 hours of work in this week, and I feel that I am still very far behind. I decided last night after getting irritated with Aaron that I would work today as well, and set up a tentative schedule of 10 t0 6. I am happy that I let that idea go, however, because at this moment, I am drinking hot cocoa by the window while I watch snow continue to fall, as it has for the past few hours. I definitely would not have wanted to drive back home in a few inches of snow, especially not with the drivers that we have in this state (unfortunately myself included.)

As I said in a previous post, I have decided to start this year off a little differently. My writing skills need brushing up, my stress needs reevaluating, and my goals need a bit of thought. While I work on these things, I am accompanied by my new desk calendar of the 1,000 places to see before you die. Each day, I get a little closer to enlightenment and contentment.

Check out my other blog: Wishing I Was Somewhere Else

The New Year

"I suppose dying's as good an excuse as any to start living."

I am obsessed with a tv character. Very, very obsessed. Charlotte "Chuck" Charles from Pushing Daisies is my new idol, so to speak. I really want to become more of a compassionate and less lazy person. I don't think that it will happen overnight, but I am willing to try. I would love to learn how to raise bees, learn numerous languages, and help the poor. I think this will be a very productive new year.

After a day of napping and a long bubble bath with a good book, I'm unable to find the right words to convey how I feel at this point in time, but I plan to write every day, and do others things daily as well, such as exercise and trying to make myself look more approachable and pretty on a regular basis. It is going to take a lot of attention and discipline, but I'm hoping that I can make it through to make this year one of the best of my life.