Making a House of Straw, or Stick, or Brick...

There are said to be 10 rooms in a person's "house." The house is made up of everything that your life is or will be in the future. The rooms are: the attic, the kid's room, the family room, the living room, the basement, the office, the bathroom, the bedroom, the kitchen, and the tenth room.

The Attic

The attic holds your emotional heirlooms and family expectations.

The Kid's Room

The kids' room is where you decide whether to have children. If the answer is yes, this is the place for your parenting dilemmas and decisions.

The Family Room

The family room is where you deal with your parents, siblings, and anyone else with whom you can be fully yourself and still share unconditional love.

The Living Room

The living room is for your social life with friends and neighbors, so this is also the room for envy and overcommitment.

The Basement

The basement holds all memories, scrapbooks, and any childhood events that shaped your past.

The Office

The office is for work and career. This is also where you pay the bills.

The Bathroom

The bathroom, with both scale and mirror, is where you face body image, aging, wellness, and health.

The Bedroom

The bedroom is where you handle intimacy--sex, love desire, connection with your mate or the search for your life partner.

The Kitchen

The kitchen is where everyone gathers at the table for emotional "nourishment" (catching up, connecting) and sorting out the chores.

The 10th Room

The 10th room is what Virginia Woolf called a room of one's own. It might be a sunny porch, a cozy corner, a mental space where you reflect on your life and your role in the world. You contemplate the big existential questions here.

Week 6: Organize Your Finances

This week's goals:

Gather all your bills and corresponding paperwork and decide on one place to keep all of them. Whether you are storing them in a file, a basket, or a bin, make sure you have enough room.

Make a list of all your income and expenses. You can use a software program like Quicken or Microsoft excel or pen and paper. The important thing is to get a clear picture of your financial situation. Remember to include the due dates next to each bill.

Here are examples of expenses to track:

-Fixed Expenses

--mortgage, rent

--phone

--utilities

--insurance

--taxes/loans

--savings

-Controllable Expenses (you may want to track these expenses for three months to get an average.)

--house maintenance

--transportation (gasoline, parking, etc)

--credit cards

--all food

--personal care

--entertainment

--child rearing expenses

--charitable contributions

--habits (coffee, cigarettes)

Formulate a budget based on your income and expenses.

Commit right now to your future. If you are not already contributing to a savings account or investment fund, add an amount you are comfortable with to your budget today and stick with it (this may mean a few less lattes per week).

Ask for help if you need it.

If you have not done so already, set up a college fund for your children.

Set up a plan for your retirement, investments, and supplemental income

Check your house for valuables that you don't love or use. You can sell these items to help pay down debt.

Tips:

Take advantage of automatic bill payment with your bank. The creditors you owe may even offer a discount.

Consider using a software program to computerize your checkbook.

Educating yourself about how money can work for you will make you feel powerful and therefore a magnet for more money.

Your fixed expenses should be no more than 65% of your income.

Pay your bills online and request that your bank not send you paper statements.

Consider purchasing life insurance for you and your spouse.

Consolidate your phone bills and calling plans and don't purchase ringtones.

Remove your name from catalog lists to avoid temptations.

Stay Organized!

Once a month:

Review your credit card statements to ensure that your interest rate has not changed.

Balance your check book.

Organize one section of your home and look for items to sell.

Every 3-6 months:

Review your 401 (k)

Re-evaluate the catalogs you receive and remove your name from those you no longer wish to receive.

Once a Year:

Update your budget.

Schedule a time to do your taxes.

Review your credit report.

Recap of Week 5

I have not had a chance to organize my personal information, but I have been thinking about it and plotting out how I will do it. I know that I need to stop putting it off, but I make myself excuses like now that the new washer and refrigerator are set up, we can get back on track....but who knows if that will really happen.

However, I did do the other parts of my week. I know that I got over 150 minutes of activity last week because I volunteered at our Earth Day festival on Saturday and helped the kids with their Easter egg hunts on Sunday (plus everything else that I do from day to day). We've also been trying to work on our donating, so once we get our budget in the works, we can work that into the budget.

12 Weeks to A Happier Family: Week 5

Fitness Goal:

Get active in short bursts.

Nutrition Goal:

Drink more calcium.

Health Goal:

Set your GPS before you hit the road.

Happiness Goal:

Do Something for charity.

Broken Down:

Fitness Goal:

Get 150 minutes of moderate exercise a week. These can be done in 3 10 minute workouts a day.

Nutrition Goal:

Ensure that both you and your children get the correct amount of Vitamin D and calcium.

Health Goal:

Try to be the best driver possible.

Happiness Goal:

How to raise a more giving child:

-Go with her interests. Find out what the child truly cares about and then have her donate some change from her piggy bank and write a check for a charity.

-Volunteer. Do something at home with your child. Project Linus gives families opportunities to make blankets for needy children, while The Box Project helps needy families.

-Share your old stuff. Have kids donate their old toys and clothes.

-Make a donation basket. Every time you go to the grocery store, buy a nonperishable and put it in a box or bin. When it is full, you and your child can take it to a shelter or food pantry.

-Try games like the World Repair Kit.

Week 5: Organize Your Personal Information

This week's goals:

Decide where to store important information. Ideas for this are storing it on your computer, on index cards, or in file folders.

Label each category so it can be easily referenced. Here are great examples of what to record for each category:

*Health

-Allergies (to food, medicine, animals, etc.)

-Your blood pressure

-Health issues that run in the family

-Your cholesterol level

-Your blood type and those of family members

*Finances

-Your credit card number(s) and the phone number to call if your card is lost or stolen

-Your bank account numbers and phone number if your checkbook is lost or stolen

-A budget for your income, expenses, savings, and personal goals

-Your credit score

-Insurance information

*Safety

-Emergency contact numbers

-License plate number and VIN

-Flight numbers for any upcoming trips

-Current photos of every member of your family labeled with heights and weights

-photocopies of passports

*Just in case

-Measurements and clothing sizes for you, your partner, and your children

Purchase a fireproof safety box and store the following documents in it:

-marriage certificate

-birth certificates

-automobile titles

-wills

-household inventory list

-passports

Stay Organized!

Once a month:

-File away any new personal information you receive

Every 3-6 months:

-Add any new major purchases to your household inventory list

-Review your financial budget. Consider ways to save by cutting back on expenses.

Once a year

-Request a free credit report to make sure nothing unusual or unauthorized has popped up on it.

-Take new photos of your family members for your safety folder. Be sure to note heights and weights.

-Update health records.

Recap of Week 4

Cleaning has been difficult this past week, due to our washing machine breaking. That then spiraled into a giant mess. In order to get the washer out of our tiny laundry area (also our pantry), Aaron had to move the refrigerator and take the pantry off the wall. Now, the large "pantry" is in the middle of our kitchen and all of the food that was once in it is all over our counters and stove. So clothes are piled everywhere and there are piles of stuff lying around waiting for the chaos to stop. The washer is supposed to get here on Wednesday, and Bob got a new fridge because ours is a disaster. That is supposed to be delivered on Saturday. Then, things can resume to normality, at least normality for us.

As for the week towards a happier family, we have done quite a few good things in regards to that. The kids and I went on a picnic and nature walk one day last week after I got off of work. Aaron was not able to join us because he was working late, but the kids had a lot of fun playing with bubbles, scouting for bugs, and running around the park. In fact, a child that we met there looked at the little notebooks and crayons I got for the kids to draw what they see and said that I thought of everything. It was awesome that someone noticed that I'd put a lot of effort into this trek.

On Saturday, while my dad had Jude, I took Tahiri to the Easter egg hunt at the presidential library downtown. Since that was pretty windy, I went to pick up my friend Marissa and went to the Blooms festival at this awesome park for the arts in the woods. We walked around for hours and then took the kids back home. We stayed up late, smoked the hookah, and did mini healing sessions. Then we dressed up Sunday and took another hike.

My turbulent week ended with beautiful synthesis and the feeling of being truly okay.

12 Weeks to A Happier Family: Week 4

Fitness Goal:

Take a nature hike with your kids.

Nutrition Goal:

Cut back on caffeine.

Health Goal:

Pick the right medical team.

Happiness Goal:

Eat Dinner Together, or at least eat something together.

Broken Down:

Fitness Goal:

1) Scout out a good place to hike in your area.

2) Make sure shoes fit.

3) Let the kids help prepare by filling up water bottles, making trail mix, and looking at maps.

4) Choose an easy route.

5) Point out waterfalls, wild flowers, and bird nests along the way.

6) Let your child invite a friend. They will be less likely to complain.

7) Let everyone be hike leader for a little while.

8) Make frequent stops for water and snacks.

9) Praise patience and playfulness early and often.

10) Head out in the morning time.

11) Create an explorer's tool kit with the following: magnifying glass, camera, hand sanitizer, sunscreen, crayons and notepad, water, and a snack.

12) Hunt for bugs.

13) Keep it short.

14) Collect leaves for leaf rubbing (on paper)

15) Recreate the beauty through art.

Nutrition Goal:

10 Ways to Get Instant Energy (without caffeine)

1) Laugh out loud.

2) Bust a move.

3) Give yourself a quick massage.

4) Smell lemon, orange, or lime to awaken the senses.

5) Drink water.

6) Try Tai Chi.

7) Snack smart with a combo of protein and carbs.

8) Listen to music you like.

9) Stand tall.

10) Try yoga poses like Eagle Arms and Leg Stretch.

15 Ways to Get A Lot Healthier (FAST!)

1) Take a hike. It takes less than 30 minutes to walk a mile.

2) Kiss him like you mean it (to improve endorphines).

3) Don't worry, be happy.

4) Add color to your salad.

5) Drink a glass of wine a day.

6) Chew a stick of sugar free gum.

7) Fill up on fiber.

8) Drink more milk.

9) Get outside for at least 20 minutes a day.

10) Take a multivitamin containing folic acid.

11) Instead of a can of soda, drink some vegetable juice.

12) Put sunscreen on your feet too.

13) Get more sleep.

14) Patrol your portions.

15) Floss daily.

Health Goal:

We already have doctors for us and the kids, so this doesn't really pertain to us.

Happiness Goal:

We have been eating together every night! So this one is also pretty much mastered.

Week 4: Organize Your Cleaning Schedule

This week's goals:

Make a list of all the chores that need to be done around the house. Break them down into daily, weekly, and monthly activities. Then create a chore chart and have a family meeting to delegate jobs. Post the chart so everyone can see it on a daily basis.

Make a "Bare Minimum" list containing the absolute essential chores that must be completed each week. When you have a hectic week, stick to this bare minimum list so your house doesn't fall into complete disarray while you deal with life. Some bare minimums may include: cleaning dishes, everyday pickup, and the minimum number of loads of laundry needed to keep the family clothed.

Take fifteen minutes each night to straighten up the house. Make it a family chore by assigning each person a different room and list this on the chore chart.

Clean one room or complete one chore each day. This will save you from waiting your entire Saturday on cleaning.

Assign each family member his or her own towel for the entire week. This will cut down on laundry. Color-coding the towels is the easiest way to tell them apart.

Place a set of disposable disinfecting wipes in each bathroom. These are great for quick touch ups between thorough cleanings.

Save space by minimizing cleaners. Start buying one all-purpose cleaner whenever possible.

Tips:

Carry a basket around the house while you are cleaning. If you find something that does not belong in the room you are cleaning, put it in the basket. This saves you tons of time by cutting down on trips around the house. But don't forget to empty the basket every time you clean, or it will become a clutter collector.

Make your bed every day before you leave the house.

A family chore chart provides consistency for the entire family. Kids know what is expected of them.

Clean off the kitchen counter and wash dishes or load the dishwasher as soon as dinner is finished.

As you clean a room or area, try to work from top to bottom and then from left to right so you do not waste time back-tracking.

Let your children choose the day of the week they want to clean their rooms.

Do tasks in bulk.

If your house is difficult to clean, you have too much stuff!

Once a Month:

If there is a particular chore that no one likes, rotate the responsibility each month.

Every 3-6 Months:

Change or launder slipcovers on the furniture.

Once a Year:

Have a family meeting to update the chore chart.

Steam clean carpets and upholstery.

Recap of Week 3

I went out last week and bought a planner that would accommodate my work and home life. I started putting things in it right away, but still managed to miss that the Literary Festival was this past weekend. Fortunately, there was not much that I would have been interested in, so it was okay.

I still have not been able to really compile my comprehensive to do list, with the A, B, and C differentiations, but I plan on doing that this week for sure.

I went to a hypnotist on Friday, hoping to get past life regression therapy done, but the therapist talked me into getting weight loss hypnosis done first, since it would be my first time to be hypnotized. Also, that program is 2 hours, and since I was already paying for 2 hours, it was the cheapest way to go. I have to say that I was pleased with the process. I didn't feel that I went completely under, but knew that I had tried my best not to listen to the words and instead daydream about whatever I could think of. It really did help me with my anger issues as well as hunger issues. There are still a lot of things that I am trying to work on, but I know that it will come to me eventually.

12 Weeks to A Happier Family: Week 3

Fitness Goal:

Plan to get moving at least once a week with the whole family.

Nutrition Goal:

Count your daily serving of fruits and vegetables and increase the number by 2.

Health Goal:

Find one way to save on health care expenses.

Happiness Goal:

Do a family health check.

Broken Down:

Fitness Goal-

1) Stay active as a family.

2) Get moving with active outdoor toys: sacks for racing, an outdoor jump around, super parachute, scooter, or play lawn mower.

Nutrition Goal-

1) Have fruit with dinner.

2) Introduce kid friendly veggies such as cucumber, broccoli, minty peas, roasted red pepper soup, and crinkly carrot fries.

3) Teach kids the food pyramid:

Fruits: Add a bowl of fruit to each meal. Activity to teach: do a matching game with fresh fruit and it's freeze-dried, dried, or frozen counterpart.

Vegetables: Add a variety of veggies to the table. Activity to teach: Let kids plan the veggie side by color.

Grains: Change all pastas and breads to whole grain. Activity to teach: Have your kids play eye spy with all of the good stuff in whole grain compared to white bread.

Dairy: Buy skim or low fat milk and cheeses. Activity to teach: Let them build their own sundae with low fat frozen yogurt, granola, nuts, and dried fruit.

Meat and Beans: a tablespoon of peanut butter or an egg for breakfast is good for a serving. Activity to teach: Have them do a bean test with spreads compared to the beans, or have them taste tacos with chicken, beef, and turkey and have them pick the winner.

Fat, Sugars, and Salt: make sure you check labels and go fresh whenever you can to avoid an overload of these. Activity to teach: Exercise a little more to burn calories from sugary foods.

Health Goal-

The kids have ARkids and the adults rarely go to the doctor, so we don't really need this step.

Happiness Goal-

1) Happier parents make happier kids:

Have a weekday update. Share a highlight and a low point from the day.

Don't make your spouse guess when you're mad. Bring up things when they happen.

Don't give all of your attention to the kids.

Make time to be alone.

Make dates cheap.

Look for little ways to be nice.

Go out on a limb and try something new together.

2) Simple secrets of happy families

Find a community that fits your family.

Get a pet. Teach children the responsibility of caring for it.

Talk to your kids.

Write down your thoughts.

Share the chores with everyone.

Be nice to your in-laws.

Share your family story.

Believe in yourself.

Don't coddle your children.

Treat your husband and kids the way you treat your friends.

Control your temper.

Cherish traditions.

Show up on time.

Welcome other adults into your family.

Tell them you love them.

Week 3: Organize Your Schedule

This week's goals:

Buy ONE daily planner to use for both work and your personal life. Using more than one leaves room for confusion and overlapped appointments.

Sit down with your family and plan your week/month ahead of time so you can:

-Schedule babysitters

-Divide errands

-Plan meals

-Divide chores

-Plan driving arrangements for activities

Gather all your To Do items from sticky notes, calendars and scraps of paper and create a To Do list that you keep in your planner. Make this list as complete as possible.

Sort your To Do tasks by:

A: Tasks that need to be done this week (pay electric bill, etc). Schedule these in your planner.

B: Tasks that need to be done this month (buy birthday present, send thank you note, etc). Schedule these in your planner.

C: Tasks that you would like to get done in the future (have lunch with friend). List these tasks on a separate piece of paper to refer to when you have extra time.

Once you have your tasks sorted into categories, number the tasks in each category, in the order in which they must be accomplished. If you get all of your A (weekly) Tasks done and you have time, you can tackle a task from the B (monthly) list or even the C (future) list. If you don't get all of your A Tasks done, make those unfinished tasks top priority for the next day.

Schedule your dentist and doctor appointments for the next year, and veterinarian appointments if you have pets. Schedule kids' pediatric appointments and family members' dental check ups back-to-back so you can make fewer trips.

Place a small notebook by your bed for those nights you lie awake thinking of things you need to do. Write them down and get some sleep knowing that you'll put them on your To Do list in the morning.

Use a page of your planner for a long-term To Do list. This could include gifts that need to be delivered, borrowed items to be returned, movies to rent, books to read, etc. when you write these things down, you free yourself from the worry of forgetting.

Tips:

Be realistic about what you can accomplish in one day.

Schedule meetings with a start time and an end time so they don't drag on and waste time.

Schedule errands based on geographical location. Don't waste time with extra driving.

Whenever possible, schedule your appointments for first thing in the morning. The later the appointment, the better the chance you'll be delayed.

Avoid placing overwhelming tasks on your To Do list by breaking large tasks down into smaller, easier-to-accomplish tasks. Identify the large task and then write down all the steps you need to take to complete that task. Then set a final deadline for the task and work your way toward it, accomplishing one step each day.

Store your schedule or To Do list electronically instead of paper.

Complete tasks. You only get points on a score board when the goal is made.

Consider your time to valuable to waste.

Once a Month:

Pick a C Task from your list and schedule time to complete it.

Schedule downtime. If you are used to being on the go every minute of your life, downtime may feel uncomfortable at first, even boring. But boredom could very well turn into peace.

Schedule dates with your spouse, your child, your best friend-the people most important to you.

Every 3-6 Months:

Re-evaluate your C Tasks and set final deadlines for items that have been left undone since the last time you evaluated the list. Break the task down into small tasks if needed.

Compare your To Do list to your "Priorities" list and make sure your activities are honoring your priorities.

Once a Year:

On Labor Day, write down everything you wanted to do over the summer but never made time for. When you get your new planner for next year, schedule in these activities.

When you purchase your annual planner, choose one that you really love the look and feel of and that will accommodate your note-making style. If the planner fits your style, you'll be more likely to enjoy using it and use it consistently.

When you buy a new planner, transfer all birthdays and anniversaries for the year.

Recap of Week 2

My Top 10 Priorities is tacked to my wall beside my computer monitor at work. It's hard not to glance at it every time I look up at the computer.

My children's health and view of the world: Aaron read Jude parts of two books that we bought a long time ago this past week. One was about inventions, and he read a few sections of that, and the other was about China, which Jude was curious about because our neighbors are Vietnamese/Chinese/American. I felt good about Jude learning things like these. As for Tahiri, I slacked off on giving her the medicine twice a day like I should. I am now putting it on the stove next to the door (when the stove's not on of course) so that I can't leave the house without being reminded that it needs to be done.

My relationship with Aaron: I have been very leery of Aaron this week. I haven't been able to really conversate with him and I couldn't really figure out why. But he keeps picking at me about being Buddhist and a vegetarian. So finally, we had a talk and he explained that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings and that he would be more supportive. It made me feel closer to him.

Being Buddhist: I haven't been the best Buddhist lately. I've been getting frustrated and angry at ignorant people, when really I should just be a little sad for them because they don't understand how the world works, at least not from my perspective. I am however considering turning a closet that we rarely use into my sanctuary where I can sit and meditate when I need to and close the door when I don't so things don't get broken. I just don't know if that's considered disrespectful. I have to ask my neighbors.

Eating Healthy: I've been doing much better. I have eaten mostly rice the past week, with a few cheats here and there. It actually works pretty well because I'm not as hungry throughout the day. Soon, Aaron and I will go on our 4 month rice fast.

Exercising: Not been doing it. :(

Finishing work while at work: I actually stayed at work until 7pm on Saturday and cleaned my whole office. It feels fantastic. Now I'm working on my filing and making sure I get everything done on time.

Saving Money: Haven't been doing this either. :(

Crafting: Haven't had time, but I have lots of ideas.

Reading: I actually took a break a couple nights this past week and took a bath and read. I've also tried reading before I go to sleep.

Establishing lasting friendships: My friend Marissa came over last Monday night to hang out, my two K(ch)risti's came over on Sunday, and my friend Sadie (and Marissa) are coming over tonight.

As for my weekly better life stuff, I have done at least 5 minutes of physical activity each day. We have been trying to give our kids breakfast every morning because we haven't been before now. I know everyone's BMI except Aaron's. And we still have a pretty strict bedtime, but have problems with Tahiri getting into Jude's bed and him coming to tell on here. So 2 hours after "bedtime" they are still awake. We also haven't made Jude the ticket system yet. We really need to...