Recap of Week 2

My Top 10 Priorities is tacked to my wall beside my computer monitor at work. It's hard not to glance at it every time I look up at the computer.

My children's health and view of the world: Aaron read Jude parts of two books that we bought a long time ago this past week. One was about inventions, and he read a few sections of that, and the other was about China, which Jude was curious about because our neighbors are Vietnamese/Chinese/American. I felt good about Jude learning things like these. As for Tahiri, I slacked off on giving her the medicine twice a day like I should. I am now putting it on the stove next to the door (when the stove's not on of course) so that I can't leave the house without being reminded that it needs to be done.

My relationship with Aaron: I have been very leery of Aaron this week. I haven't been able to really conversate with him and I couldn't really figure out why. But he keeps picking at me about being Buddhist and a vegetarian. So finally, we had a talk and he explained that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings and that he would be more supportive. It made me feel closer to him.

Being Buddhist: I haven't been the best Buddhist lately. I've been getting frustrated and angry at ignorant people, when really I should just be a little sad for them because they don't understand how the world works, at least not from my perspective. I am however considering turning a closet that we rarely use into my sanctuary where I can sit and meditate when I need to and close the door when I don't so things don't get broken. I just don't know if that's considered disrespectful. I have to ask my neighbors.

Eating Healthy: I've been doing much better. I have eaten mostly rice the past week, with a few cheats here and there. It actually works pretty well because I'm not as hungry throughout the day. Soon, Aaron and I will go on our 4 month rice fast.

Exercising: Not been doing it. :(

Finishing work while at work: I actually stayed at work until 7pm on Saturday and cleaned my whole office. It feels fantastic. Now I'm working on my filing and making sure I get everything done on time.

Saving Money: Haven't been doing this either. :(

Crafting: Haven't had time, but I have lots of ideas.

Reading: I actually took a break a couple nights this past week and took a bath and read. I've also tried reading before I go to sleep.

Establishing lasting friendships: My friend Marissa came over last Monday night to hang out, my two K(ch)risti's came over on Sunday, and my friend Sadie (and Marissa) are coming over tonight.

As for my weekly better life stuff, I have done at least 5 minutes of physical activity each day. We have been trying to give our kids breakfast every morning because we haven't been before now. I know everyone's BMI except Aaron's. And we still have a pretty strict bedtime, but have problems with Tahiri getting into Jude's bed and him coming to tell on here. So 2 hours after "bedtime" they are still awake. We also haven't made Jude the ticket system yet. We really need to...

Seven Days

...and I'm gone. I run away. I don't write letters, I'm here to stay. (Karaocake)

I did something drastic this past week. I had been reconnecting with an old friend, simply enough. Were there still feelings there? Maybe. But I didn't act on any of that. I tried to love him as a person, a deeply flawed person, but I could tell that his intentions were not that of a pure man. And it was difficult letting him go. I think that's what made it wonderful. I knew that I didn't want anything to come between Aaron and me. I didn't want him to ever not be able to trust me when my past comes to haunt me. I had to decide this for myself, so I kept it secret. I didn't mention it, a form of lying, I know. But doing this allowed me to know for myself and it was my choice. I decided that I didn't want anything to do with him. And of course it was difficult because I'm not perfect and my past is full of riddles and loose ends. But this one has been tied...or severed. I wish him the absolute best, and I hope that he finds his path to enlightenment. Maybe one day, in another life, our paths will cross again. But for now, it's my time and I hold the cards. I decide that it's enough for this lifetime. No ill feelings, no emptiness. I feel fulfilled in my decision, and am reminded of it everytime Aaron sneaks me a smile or brushes past me. The chills through my body let me know that I made the right decision. And I couldn't be happier.

12 Weeks to A Happier Family: Week 2

Fitness Goal:

Commit to 5 minutes of physical activity each day.

Nutrition Goal:

Pick one meal of the day to make more nutritious.

Health Goal:

Learn everyone's BMI.

Happiness Goal:

Set a strict bedtime--For you and the kids.

Broken Down:

Fitness Goal-

1) Play Hard, Play Safe

2) What to do when you're too tired to work out: baby bridge, bicycle crunch, mountain climber, upper body dip.

Nutrition Goal-

1) Try to make breakfast every day.

2) Spice up lunch.

3) Get together and make a healthy, balanced dinner.

Health Goal-

Tahiri's BMI is 13.1, underweight for a child her age

Jude's BMI is 14.7, almost underweight for a child his age

Tyshani's BMI is 38.97, morbidly obese (need to work on that)

Aaron's BMI was not taken.

Happiness Goal-

Setting a Bedtime, for everyone.

1) Watch food and drink consumption

2) Avoid stimulating activities after dinner

3) Give advanced notice

4) No television time before bed

5) Establish a night time routine

*Set a specific time and stick to it.

*Give a warning to wind down.

*Offer a snack that is low in sugar and high in protein

*Brush teeth

*Give a warm bath

*Read a story

*Play soft music while you read

*Give the child a snuggle toy

*Keep last goodnights brief

Give Jude a ticket system to get out of bed once after being laid down.

Week 2: Organize Your Priorities

Does it ever feel like you spend all your hours and days doing but not living?

Yes, it absolutely feels like a huge cycle that is so difficult to get out of.

What are your top ten priorities? (Not in any particular order)

1) My children's health and view of the world

2) My relationship with Aaron

3) Buddhism

4) Eating healthy

5) Exercising

6) Finishing my work while at work

7) Saving money

8) Crafting

9) Reading

10) Establishing lasting friendships

Are you living these priorities each day or even every week?

I would have to say no. I don't take enough time to devote to all of these things.

This week's goals:

To help you realize what your priorities are ask yourself questions such as:

What do you value most?

Getting into better health and establishing lasting friendships.

What things are most important to me:

good health, strong relationship with Aaron, communication with children, peace of mind, good friends, spiritual fulfillment, travel, education, a clean house

Why am I here?

I believe that I am here to make other's lives as fulfilled as possible.

Where am I going?

I'm going to explore the world.

What is my purpose?

I am going to help others and live a full life of enlightenment.

Compare a list of all the activities that you participate in with your top ten priorities.

I wake up late, scurry the kids to school, rush to work, play on the computer, email, help others, try to get my desk organized, put off phone calls, leave work, pick up kids, take them to park if weather permits, go home and cook dinner, read to the kids before bed, clean the house, watch tv, take a bath, go to bed. They are pretty different....

Decide on activities that can be eliminated to make time for your top ten. Focus on cutting out activities that take your time but don't bring you joy.

Instead of waking up late, I could wake up early and get the kids up early to eat a good breakfast (kid's health). Watching tv is usually mine and Aaron's time to cuddle and enjoy each other. When the kids go to bed, instead of watching tv right away, I can go across the street and chant and meditate with the neighbors. During my work day, instead of playing on the computer, I could focus on getting bits of exercise in. Also instead of playing, I could work harder on finishing my work. Instead of frivolous shopping on the internet or at stores, I could save up all that money. I need to start keeping an expense record so I will see just how much I'm spending on things. While I watch tv, I could get my crafts out, and weekends could be for crafting. Every night, I could set aside 30 minutes, even if it's while I take a bath, to read. Every week, I need to schedule a playdate with a friend or two to establish the bond of my relationships.

Tips:

Read your top ten list on a regular basis. (Print it out and post it on the wall by the computer monitor.)

Minimize energy spent with negative people. (Stay in my office at work and don't gossip; don't try to contact those who will drain my energy, no matter how alluring it is.)

Don't forget to pray. (Go across the street daily or every other day to meditate and chant.)

Make a list of things you and your family like to do that cost little or no money, and then try to do as many of these as you can each week. (Sit down with the family and make a list.)

The next time you are about to spend a chunk of your time, ask yourself: Does this activity help me stick to my priorities or is is taking time away from them?

Remember, much of what the media sells and portrays is make believe. Don't compare your life to TV, advertisements, or celebrities. Live your life the way that is best for you and your family.

Use the ten-minute rule to help you accomplish more. The next time you find yourself with an extra ten minutes, challenge yourself to use it on a priority or a goal. You may think ten minutes does not sound like much, but when you add up a bunch of ten-minute intervals throughout the week, it can make a big difference.

Stay Organized:

Once a Month:

Go on a date with your partner.

Take time to call or write a friend that you need to catch up with.

Spend the day out with your child.

Organize one room, drawer, or closet.

Every 3-6 Months:

Review your list and add or subtract priorities as they change in your life.

Spend time with an elderly relative.

Do something positive for our environment.

Complete a long-term project that has been lingering on your To Do list for several weeks.

Once a Year:

When you purchase your new planner for the year, schedule your priorities first.

Evaluate your extracurricular activities from the past year and decide if you want to continue those activities in the new year.

Recap of Week 1

As far as sleep goes, I've been doing pretty good at sleeping for a limited amount of time. I cut back on my naps after work, but then around 6 or 7, I would fall asleep on the couch. The lethargy would catch up with me and I'd be out without even realizing it. Usually, I would take a nap and KNOW that was my goal, but with this, I would be willing myself to stay awake but was unable to. I have also had trouble waking up on time, much less waking up early.

I have not been very good about jotting down the list of things to do. In fact, I've been relying on the whole, "I'll do it when I get everything organized. Then it will be easier." Not a very good reason not to write the list.

I tried writing every day last week. I would even have the website up, but I would be blank...or I would be so busy with work. Or I'd be playing a game on the computer and not be able to pull away from it. I'm still a work in progress.

We have severely limited the amount of tv we watch, as well as what the kids watch. From Monday until Friday, Tahiri had not watched any tv at home and Jude had watched 30 minutes. It was amazing to know that they were actually playing with their toys, and coloring, and we were eating dinner together. As for the weekend, all bets were off.

I have not took time out just to be. However, I just set three alarms: 10:30, 1:30, and 6:00 where I can practice sitting and meditating.

Which brings me to meditating. I actually meditated for 15 minutes this week, at one sitting, with my neighbors. It was incredible. It hurt my body and I was slightly uncomfortable, but I think that is to be expected.

I have not exercised as much as I'd like. We have been out to the park 3 times last week, but I don't think that was enough. I need to work on that a lot more in the coming weeks.

I have tried to schedule me time, but it has been difficult this week. I guess that's why it's a work in progress. I have made leaps and bounds in some things, but others still need work.

On eliminating energy drainers: I am proud to say that I have worked through some of the clutter in my house, and it's not even done yet. There is much more to come. On unhealthy relationships, I am very proud to say that I have deleted a number from my phone, in every aspect, and I really wanted to have closure, but I didn't need it. I realized that it was too much for me to do at this point. I have also deleted my account on momslikeme.com, because it was draining my energy. Some of the moms were so mean spirited and felt that they knew everything, and I didn't have the time or energy to fight with them. Plus, with my new Buddhist lifestyle, fighting is definitely not the answer.

As for my weekly goals:

Get out and exercise at least 3 times a week. I did this!!! I would get out of my car and go immediately to the daycare (which is only a block away) to get the kids. It was awesome. Then, we'd walk straight across the street to the playground and play for a good hour or so. We did this 3 days last week. I was extremely proud of myself.

Put away the salt shaker. We actually watched our salt intake this week. We were careful to not give the kids too much of it, and we didn't even go on our weekly McDonald's outing.

Teach your kids what to do in an emergency. We went over the phone numbers and I taught him about 911.

Limit everyone's screen time. We also did this!! Unbelievable how much more time you have when you eliminate this. Aaron even got into it and didn't get on the computer until after the kids were in bed. It was awesome to feel more like a family.

Can't wait for week 2!!

Day 1: Monday, March 21

I started by writing out the rules and goals on a previous post. Then, I tried to practice what I was saying. After work, I went straight to the daycare. I didn't even go inside the house for anything first. I walked the half a block to the daycare, picked up the kids, and took them across the street to the elementary school playground. The kids played until Jude's face turned bright red. Then, I walked them home and said goodbye to Aaron as he left for plumbing school. This happens every Monday. Then, I gently told Jude that there would be no tv or computer. When he asked to play games on my phone, I also said no. He cried and threw a fit and complained that he was hungry. Instead of making a bunch of macaroni and filling him up with it, I made that plus some chicken nuggets and some corn. He actually ate all of his nuggets and mac and cheese, but refused to touch his corn. It made me happy that it was just on his plate. Tahiri ate a lot of her stuff too and then I put her into the bath while Jude played with his toys. After her bath, I got her pajamas on, gave her a vitamin and she sat on her bed and chewed it while I brushed out her hair, whispering Amitabha to her in the dark. She said, "night night momma" and I crept out of the room. Then, I read 4 books to Jude, and since he had been so great, I let him watch one episode of the Backyardigans before bed. He then went to bed without protest. It felt like an incredible win.

12 Weeks to A Happier Family: Week 1

Fitness Goal:

Get out and exercise at least 3 times a week.

Nutrition Goal:

Put away the salt shaker.

Health Goal:

Teach your kids what to do in an emergency.

Happiness Goal:

Limit everyone's screen time.

*Broken Down:

Fitness Goal: Great Outdoor Games

Tea Time: take stuffed animals to an afternoon picnic on the lawn.

Pooch Parade: teach dogs new tricks.

Fairy House: collect building materials and use a little bit of glue to make a home for fairies.

Hopscotch: get out colored chalk and draw a huge hopscotch path.

Lawn Flicks: hang a white sheet on the side of your house and project a movie using a digital projector. then bring on the popcorn, pj's, and pillows for the perfect outdoor movie night.

Swing Along: Build a tire swing.

Tag, You're It!: enjoy a game of family tag or flag football in the yard.

Neighborhood Races: have an old fashioned sack race or three legged race.

I am definitely going to try the tea party, fairy house, and hopscotch. Hopefully I can try the outdoor movie night and build a tire swing, but we don't really live in a neighborhood for the races and games.

10 Fun Ways to Enjoy the Great Outdoors:

*Go bird watching: Get to know the birds in your region. Get a pair of binoculars to look at trees, bushes, telephone polls, and grass for birds. Observe the colors, size, and behavior. Listen to its song and watch how it flies. Make notes and identify the birds in books or online. Attract birds to your yard with a bird feeder, bird bath, or nest box.

* Stroll with your senses: Teach kids to explore the woods with eyes, ears, nose, and fingers on high alert. Bring a magnifying glass or binoculars. Peer under logs and rocks for insects. Sniff the pine trees. Feel the rough bark or sticky sap. Listen to the sounds of birds, water, or small animals.

*Gather Nature's Collectibles: Young kids can gather acorns, pinecones, colorful leaves, and feathers. Store them in a shoe box or plastic display case, or showcase them in craft projects.

*Bring the Outdoors in: Continue the lessons with books and magazines or trips to museums, aquariums, and nature centers.

*Catch a Critter: choose an insect that fascinates your child, such as a ladybug, grasshopper, and fireflies, and help your child capture the bug and place it in a plastic jar along with a small twig and leaves.

*Pick a fruit: Plan a trip to the farmer's market to teach kids that produce doesn't come from the supermarket. Eat fruit off the branch or take it home to make a pie, cake, or jam.

*Gaze at the Stars: Check out astronomy books and then look for Orion or the big dipper.

*Enjoy the Weather: Look at the clouds, and ask your child what shapes and images he sees. Older kids can identify different types of clouds. Watch a thunderstorm from a cozy window. Dress them properly and let them stomp in the rain or snow.

*Get growing: give your child her own patch of garden or pot of soil and have her plant a flower, vegetable, or herb of her choice. Relax your standards.

*Celebrate the Sunrise and Sunset: Take kids out to listen to the birdcalls and the flurry of activities after sunrise. At sunset, enjoy the sky's multicolor show, and look and listen for nocturnal creatures.

20 Activities to do with your Family this Weekend

*Rock on: Secure your picnic tablecloth with colorful weights. Wash and dry rocks and cover each with a coat of Mod Podge. Then decorate the rocks and paint a second coat of glue on.

*Visit a Fire Station

*Collect leaves

*Make Sunflowers: slice styrofoam balls of varying sizes in half. Using tacky glue, cover the rounded side of each half with sunflower seeds. Cut petals from yellow tissue paper and attach them to the flat side with glue. Finish by covering the back side with a circle cut from yellow paper. Attach a ribbon and tie to the branch of a tree.

*Root for the Home Team: go to a minor league baseball game or a town swim meet.

*Have a Four Square tournament.

*Play Capture the Flag.

*Eat Out (Way Out): choose an exotic cuisine that your child hasn't tried. Find the country on a globe or map, and read a short introduction to that nation's culture. Go to the restaurant early, so your kids can take in the atmosphere.

*Volunteer: Check to see if your town has a gardening club or help out at animal-rescue organizations, or take them to visit the elderly at a retirement home.

*Check out the Stars: buy a star chart. Then choose a spot in your yard and venture out after dinner to watch how the night sky changes hour to hour and day to day.

*Build a Garden Labyrinth: outline a path in your backyard using stones, twigs, or unmowed grass. Simple patterns can be found on the internet or in books.

*Plan a Treasure Hunt: Plant little dime-store jewels and treasures in the garden. Then draw a map with directions. You can even hide the map and let the kids find it.

*Do magic tricks.

*Get cooking: make pie crusts, biscuits, cookies, or pizza.

*Kick the can.

*Create a Dress-Up Box: On a rainy day, weed out unwanted dresses, hats shoes, and costume jewelry from your closets. After your kids have picked out the items they want, donate the rest.

*Take Up a New Hobby: learn a new skill with your child, such as horseback riding, pottery, or ballet. Children find it affirming to see you struggling to master news skills.

*Be a Card Shark: turn off the tv and teach your child a classic card game.

*Frame It: gather sticks, pebbles, seashells, beach glass, and other natural objects from the beach or your yard. Cut cardboard into squares or rectangles, and cut out a display area using an X-acto knife. Have your child paint the cardboard and secure his treasures to the frame's face with glue. Pop in a photo and add cardboard back for support.

*Watch Old Movies: Watch classic movies.

Raise a Kid Who Loves the Earth

*Play in the Yard

*Frolic in the Rain

*Take a Hike

*Visit a Nature Center

*Plant Something

*Climb a Tree

*Go Camping

Nutrition Goal: Put Away Salt Shaker

Too much salt is bad because it can attribute to high blood pressure in children. Salty foods are often high in calories too. Eating too much salt and not drinking enough water can create kidney stones.

Look for low sodium options of processed food.

Low sodium breads that we might start purchasing are Pepperidge Farm 100% stoneground whole wheat bread.

Low sodium cereals we might start purchasing are Kelloggs frosted mini wheats, general mills fruity cheerios, general mills Dora cinnamon stars.

Low sodium snacks to consider are goldfish chocolate graham crackers, wheat thins low-sodium crackers, and newman's own low sodium popcorn.

Health Goal:

My son already knows my phone number by heart, but we need to teach him our address, and when to call 911.

Happiness Goal: Limit Everyone's Screen Time

Keep a Diary: Log everyone's tv time, including your own. Reform viewing habits.

Play "Hide and Don't Seek": Put a decorative throw over the tv.

Let them "buy" into the system: give two 15 minute coupons per day that he cashes in for tv time. He earns bonus tickets by doing extra chores. Let them either spend it each day or save up for a movie on the weekend.

Reward Reading: reading/tv exchange. For every reading minute, not including homework, they earn a minute of tv time, up to an hour.

Find something better to do: sign the kids up for after school programs or set up play dates.

Establish a TV-free family night: play a game, have your kids help with dinner.

Go Cold Turkey: Join Nation TV Turnoff week from April 24 to 30.

Be your kid's tv guide: limit tv sessions (no more than 2 hours a day). Treat screen time like a dessert, not a main course.

Pick the Programs: prescreen programs to make sure they are learning something from it.

Keep up the Chatter: Keep the mind active and alert. ask questions about the stuff being shown.

Analyze Ads: do ad busting. Have your child tell you when they think they're watching an ad. then ask them if it's something they can't live without.